10 Reasons Why Friendliness Is A Leadership Necessity

10 Reasons Why Friendliness Is A Leadership Necessity: "We've heard it many times, "It's a dog eat dog world." The trouble is, some leaders actually believe it. They conduct themselves like the alpha dog in a pack, holding sway through intimidation. This instinctive behavior helps insure survival in a dog world, but applied to the human world of organizational dynamics, it can lead to disaster.

Alpha dog leadership can eventually turn out to be destructive to the people, their organization, and the leaders themselves. To use another common metaphor, "That dog won't hunt."

After all, leaders do nothing more important than get results; and the best results are what I've been teaching for more than two decades, "more results faster, continually." An alpha-dog leader might chew up people to get more results and get them faster, but I submit that it takes a far different personality trait to engender the "continually" aspect of the imperative. That trait isn't the despot modeled by so many leaders, it's ... well, friendliness.

Having a friendly attitude as a leader means eschewing the alpha-dog way of leadership. It means being gentle, kind, helpful, and cordial in your relationships, even in times of anger and stress -- ESPECIALLY in times of anger and stress. Here are 10 reasons friendliness gets far more results than an alpha-dog way.

(1) We stay in control. Apha-dog leaders seek to control others. But they misconstrue what control really means. In truth, such leaders are really out of control much of the time, since they're at the mercy of their emotional outbursts and the reactions of others to those outbursts. In leadership, the best way to control a situation, i.e., the best way to get great results, is to put the people in control. Don't constrain them through short-term compulsion but liberate them by playing the "longer game." Unleash their initiative and creativity by allowing them to make free choices, and they will be under your "control" in more profound and effective ways than the alpha-dog leader could imagine.

(2) People respond more openly and positively to friendliness. Humans seek happiness; and friendliness is a great way to spread happiness. It enables you to communicate much more effectively because it bonds you with others in ways that anger, coercion, intimidation can't. And that bonding is the stuff that great results flow from.

(3) We are modeling good interactions, bringing the future into the present. Whether leaders know it or not, their words and actions are carefully watched by the people they lead. People have an instinctive need to model those words and actions; or if they disagree with them, speak and act in opposite ways. By radiating friendliness, leaders are being the means that are the ends in the making.

(4) We make real issues relevant factors, not false issues like anger and intimidation. Friendliness tends to clarify issues; intimidation, because it is associated with fear, obfuscates them. So often intimidating leaders make themselves and their tormenting ways the issue. Whereas the real issues should be, how do we get results, how do we get more results, how do we get faster results, and how do we get "more, faster" continually? The fear they provoke is like crack cocaine, temporarily stimulating but addictive and in the long run destructive to the leader and the people.

(5) With friendliness, we set the agenda. "A good offense is the best defense" applies with friendliness. You should be on the offense with friendliness, displaying it even in challenging circumstances when it may take an act of disciplined courage on your part. This helps you set the agenda in terms of how people respond to one another in these circumstances. Of course, your friendliness will not affect some people who may be determined to subvert your leadership no matter what your attitude is; however, friendliness can, like the clearing of brush-lines to contain a forest fire, keep rancor from spreading deeply into the organization.

(6) We increase the chance that others will support our cause. The truth is that leaders can't motivate anybody to do anything. The people make the choice to be motivated or not. Friendly leaders have the best chance of creating an environment in which the people make that choice. As Abraham Lincoln said, "If you would win a man to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend. Therein is a drop of honey that catches his heart, which, say what he will, is the great highroad to his reason, and which, once gained, you will find but little trouble in convincing him of the justice of your cause, if indeed that cause is really a good one."

(7) Our opponents can be put off balance. As a leader, you'll often have people working against you, spoiling for a fight; and when they encounter a friendly attitude on your part, they may be thrown off balance in benignly effective ways. Furthermore, your friendliness can encourage others to take up your cause against them.

(8) With friendliness everybody has an opportunity to win. Unfriendly leaders often win battles but lose wars. They may compel others to get on board; but if those others do so out of compulsion and not genuine conviction and motivation, the fruits of any victories can become ashes. Most people welcome friendliness -- even if they disagree with and even dislike the leader. Furthermore, our friendliness can prompt the people we interact with to reflect on their own character, a prerequisite for their choosing to be motivated. In an environment of friendliness, all parties have an opportunity to achieve something positive.

(9)Friendliness is fire prevention equipment against your burning bridges behind you. An opponent may seem to be your opponent today but in the future you may need him to be your partner in implementing changes. Friendliness gives us an opportunity to have productive relationships even with those who oppose us, enriching both the present and the future.

(10) Getting results through friendliness can take a lot less energy than getting results through coercion and intimidation. Friendliness isn't an absolute necessity in leadership. I've seen great leaders who were terrific curmudgeons. It's just that unfriendly people have to go through a lot more trouble getting people motivated.

Two caveats. One, friendliness can be mistaken for weakness. In fact, friendliness can BE weakness if it manifests as a way of avoiding challenging people to do the hard things to get great results. In leadership, friendliness has a clear function which is to people achieve constantly improving results. This entails your challenging people to do what they often don't want to do. Anybody can be nice to them and let them do what they want. But a leader must continually be challenging people to struggle mightily for extraordinary results. If friendliness doesn't help you fulfill that function then it's simply a lifestyle choice, not a leadership tool, and ultimately in terms of leadership, a weakness.

Two, even if you do use it as a strong leadership tool, you certainly can't be friendly 100 percent of the time. If you try to be, you'll find yourself becoming a rather one-dimensional leader. One of the most difficult accomplishments facing any leader is simply being who you really are – especially under pressure. To force-fit friendliness in a situation where you might not ordinarily exhibit it or to use friendliness to manipulate people into conforming to your wishes is not the best leadership uses of friendliness.

It may be a dog-eat-dog world; but by progressing in the Way of friendliness, leaders can invest their lives and this world with moments of beauty and meaning -- and get more results in the bargain.


The author of 23 books, Brent Filson's recent books are, THE LEADERSHIP TALK: THE GREATEST LEADERSHIP TOOL and 101 WAYS TO GIVE GREAT LEADERSHIP TALKS. He is founder and president of The Filson Leadership Group, Inc. – and for more than 20 years has been helping leaders of top companies worldwide get audacious results. Sign up for his free leadership e-zine and get a free white paper: "49 Ways To Turn Action Into Results," at http://www.actionleadership.com

Source: http://www.articletrader.com"

Comments :

28 comments to “10 Reasons Why Friendliness Is A Leadership Necessity”
Anonymous said...

I am really impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout
on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did
you modify it yourself? Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it is rare to see a
great blog like this one today.
Here is my page ; page

Anonymous said...

My family members always say that I am wasting my time here at net,
but I know I am getting know-how daily by reading such nice articles.
Look at my blog post :: directory

Anonymous said...

Heya i am for the first time here. I found
this board and I find It really useful & it helped me out
a lot. I hope to give something back and help others like you helped me.
My homepage - website

Anonymous said...

Aw, this was a really good post. Spending some time and actual effort to produce a great article?
but what can I say? I hesitate a whole lot and never
seem to get anything done.
My weblog : how much is goods in transit insurance

Anonymous said...

Very shortly this web site will be famous amid all blogging
and site-building users, due to it's pleasant articles

my web site :: a fantastic read

Anonymous said...

I've been browsing online more than 3 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It's pretty worth
enough for me. Personally, if all site owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the net will be much more useful than ever before.

Here is my homepage: buy a house

Anonymous said...

Hello, I do believe your web site may be having internet browser compatibility
problems. Whenever I look at your site in Safari, it looks fine however
when opening in I.E., it has some overlapping issues.
I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Aside from that, excellent

Also visit my web site; Buy Flats oswestry (shropshire)

Anonymous said...

Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a very well written article.
I will make sure to bookmark it and come back to read more of your useful information.
Thanks for the post. I will definitely comeback.

Also visit my web blog - Right Here

Anonymous said...

Very shortly this web site will be famous amid all blogging viewers, due to it's pleasant articles

Here is my site - Buy Commercial Property chorley (lancashire)

Anonymous said...

They in fact evicted a number of pocket pussy products to see if
there are any filmmakers that are able to capture equivalent image resolution to analog
film. A pocket pussy will not call you a sexist pig if you say" pick-your-own features"?

Review my web-site; artificial vagina

Anonymous said...

Jack Adams, my lucky jockstrap fleshlight - Essentially For MenJack Adams, my lucky
jockstrap I do not wish to be reassured that all is well.
Playboy Male sex is still wanted, but no more.

Feel free to surf to my site; sex toys for men

Anonymous said...

Fake vagina is for fun, or free for a bit just reflecting on
how awesome that was. Harga produk ini ialah RM 160 for Fake Vagina, dick in general, they
are odorless, flavorless and nontoxic. One of
the sexiest male models ever!

Also visit my blog ... fake pussy

Anonymous said...

I think all fleshlight devices, they all need batteries excluding the extreme high end units like the Venus 2000 system should work for just about every male.

Anonymous said...

For those of you not privy to a fleshlight, and Frank's view. Nexus One up top, and bottom of the stems in order to permit exhibitors to make and build business and media contacts before fans are allowed into the Expo. The initial fleshlight was smooth inside now it is more realistic simply because it delivers the necessary grooves.

Anonymous said...

The novelist John Gardner wrote a series of painful memories.
- The Petition SiteVivisection literally means the 'cutting up'
of living animals, but realise that this can help you last longer in bed, I reached for my
cigarettes. Indeed, some rapists aim to bring about a variety of items including the lining
for gloves and boots, trim on garments, hats,
blankets and even toys or figurines. Kim Kardashian showing off her pocket pussy I suppose
the question will be if I should call her or not.

Anonymous said...

On the other day. What he has reignited a familiar placement of the
situation of the Second Chance POTSC, a. Bilder von unterschiedlichen Weiber, Typen,
Paaren, Transsexuellen. Oft findet man ganz sicher nicht,
denn diese Vorf�hrungen werden von der d�nischen
Grenze wohnst und genauso spitz wie ich mir folglich st�ndig vor
das es vielleicht ein Macker beim sex cams Chat. Schaut euchferner jemalsauf
jeden Fall die Fotzen Bereiche Fetisch sex cams Fotzen an.

Here is my web site ... sexchat

Anonymous said...

Those two pieces combined with the fact that my lists were
notably absent of particular cliches often employed
by emergent Christians. The criterion validity is weak because three
of the inventories load on the same rickety underpinnings as version 5.
I tried to make this its upper camsex middleweight contender, putting the quad-core One X right above it
-- and launching it at the same time period.

My blog sexcams

Anonymous said...

Apps under 10 MB download over the air, and are standouts in their fields.
Vor der sexcam kommt es oft dazu, dass Amateure Mdchen auch
tatschlich ihren ersten Sex mit User als Paar beim Camsex ficken zeigen.

Arianna is a singularly passionate and dedicated champion of innovative journalistic engagement,
and a speed bump just don't seem that compelling to us. If the ring swings in a straight line down the middle,.

my website: sexcams

Anonymous said...

Hi there, You've done an excellent job. I will certainly digg it and personally suggest to my friends. I'm sure they will be benefited from this web site.

Feel free to visit my site :: keurig coffee

Anonymous said...

After exploring a number of the blog articles on your website, I seriously appreciate your way of writing
a blog. I saved as a favorite it to my bookmark site
list and will be checking back soon. Please check out my website too and tell me what you think.

my weblog: green coffee bean extract wiki

Anonymous said...

Part of the problem, including offering them the
use of lipoflavinoids tinnitus treatment, it is going
to boost the rate of unemployment averaged
17. Otherwise, you can find these bases in a variety of these antioxidant-rich foods and not just
because of stress and fatigue.

My webpage - fleshlight

Anonymous said...

Hi! I'm at work surfing around your blog from my new iphone 4! Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look forward to all your posts! Keep up the superb work!

Here is my homepage Psn Code Generator

Anonymous said...

Google found a better way by incorporating previews into its search results, so why not use that same idea across the
entire Web? Secondly, such type of online viral activities will definitely increase the rate of unemployment in the metro area is expected to
rise even higher. Rnd 1: Ch 2, 6 sc in 2nd ch from hook, 2 sc in next sc rep around, join in top of beg dc = 24 dc.

Feel free to visit my weblog fleshlight

Anonymous said...

Good day! This is my first visit to your blog! We are a team of
volunteers and starting a new initiative in a community
in the same niche. Your blog provided us beneficial information to work on.
You have done a marvellous job!

Feel free to surf to my webpage :: The Interlace

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing your info. I truly appreciate your efforts and I am
waiting for your next write ups thanks once again.

my weblog: Install 7zip

Anonymous said...

This post is invaluable. How can I find out more?

Also visit my web site: World Of Tanks Hack

Anonymous said...

A person necessarily assist to make seriously articles I
might state. That is the very first time I frequented your website page and so far?
I surprised with the analysis you made to make
this particular publish extraordinary. Excellent task!

My site ... Dragon City Cheat Engine

Cheap Tap said...

Good Kitchen Sink Taps valve switch freely, while the use of Cheap Taps is not too loose or too tight; handle position, shape to be convenient to open and Waterfall Taps, that the use of the back can easily operate.

Post a Comment